My Friend John

          When I was a kid, I had a best, best friend whose name was John. He was a rare, good moment in my swiss-cheese memory. 

We saw the cool movies and fished...
not all at once.

          I don't remember when he showed up, but that he was suddenly my parents' best friend and that he loved me. In fact he cared a great deal about what I thought. He took me for walks and played ball with me. He took me digging for worms and went fishing with me. He took me to all the cool movies that were out - Star Wars and Indiana Jones.  He bought me video games and played them with me. It crushed him when he couldn't get me something I wanted, and sure... I was a brat because the only way my father showed love was through buying me things. Unlike my father, I forgave John - and quickly.

          He cared about who I was and what I thought. He had conversations with me. He was my friend... for a moment. 

         The day that ended is one of my clearest memories: We were outside on a sunny day, and he asked me to sit with him. He faced me, somberly, but spoke to me respectfully - like a person. 

Still bound by honor.

         He had inappropriate feelings toward me, he said, feelings that, if he remained near me could hurt me, and he didn't want to do that. He was obviously pained as he continued. He cared for me too much be any cause of pain for me, so he needed to leave and never see me again. 

         I remember crying and I hugged him so sincerely. I mean, I loved this guy. Even now, though, I'm surprised at the level at which I understood what he said, and how very much I respected him for it. I even told him so. The others never cared, or even thought, to restrain themselves, but he had; it could be done. Odd that a pedophile should be one of the few people I respect in my life. I still admire my friend John; would that they all learn from him. 

       The most depressing part of this relationship came many years later when I learned that my parents knew that he was, in fact, a convicted pedophile when they first invited him over. I hear most parents try to keep those people away from their kids, but my parents aren't most...

-DC