Eight Months...

It's been eight months.

I keep saying "I had a flashback in August. I had a flashback in August.", but I hadn't realized I'm still reeling from it. Nothing is the same. I even said then that it was like I'd been hit in the head with a really hard, fast moving object, and my life hasn't stopped spinning. I wish it would.

I try. I've really, really been putting on a facade of normalcy in hopes that it will become reality. I became hapless prey in a horror shoot to work out my feelings of fear, thus creeping out my photographer a bit with the "reality" of my emotions. Yes, that was a bit cathartic.

Still, I sleep a lot. I'm angry all the time. I'm constantly tense. No doubt the perimenopause isn't helping, but everything was there to begin with - only now amplified. 

Eight months later and I'm still pretty much where I was right after.  I've been putting out immediate fires in Cognitive Therapy when I need to work on this raging one. I've never been good at prioritization...

~DC