Thanks For the Memories

So, I'm on a few drugs, as one might imagine. One, for Migraines, makes me sleepy, and another, to kill my awful symbolic nightmares, puts me under too. The net result of this marriage is that I'm dead to the world until between 10 and noon. So...

I dropped my dose of the miracle nightmare inhibitor a bit and, though it took a week or so, the nightmares started returning. Once again, every night was filled with dreams of my parents' old house, of rot and decay, and nothing overtly meaning what it was, but my mind knowing what it represented. Imagine my surprise when I had a dream of my brother and I getting along - before I remembered it all. All-the-while there was something telling me there was more, but I didn't know what. All-the while he made hints that I didn't understand, but I do now in hindsight. We got along. And this morning I'm left facing that end of his betrayal. 

When I was 16, he sat me down and apologized for what he'd done to me - knowing I only remembered one incident. He said he'd never have done it if he knew I would have grown up to be so cool. (As if there's any time it's okay.) He said he did it to get back at my mother for having me. ...and she didn't care. We were together against her.

Et tu, Brute?

This dream forced me to face the fact that I liked him. I didn't remember. We had so much in common once I'd grown up enough, and I liked him. And all-the-while he kept hinting at things he'd done, interjecting it into conversation with a straight face. What word is there for a cut  like that, or an evil like him?

I feel ill.

~DC