Doing over the do over.

So what if you could live your 20s over again? Like, say, it sucked and you had a chance for a "do over" 20 years later. That's where I find myself. 

Yeah, I know that sounds weird, and deserves and explanation. 

My Therapist calls it going through an important stage of life that I never got to because of childhood trauma. In my early 20s, I relived my childhood. I was married to a pedophile, and spent my time playing Barbies with my niece because I didn't remember my childhood. My late 20s I spent drinking and playing the star, but I was terribly miserable playing it straight. My early 30s fell right into a pit of flashbacks and depression, but later I discovered school which took the edge off. Nine years later I'm just now clawing myself entirely into the light and, for the first time ever, wanting to take my life by the horns.

The only thing is... now, when I talk about self expression and tattoos and work and leaving the nest and not compromising myself, everyone hears someone in their 20s. It isn't just that, though. Looking at me, everyone sees  someone in their early/mid 20s. I am in all ways, but in memory, college age. So, I've been wondering what will I do if I now that I can do those years over again? 

Do over the do over. 

The possibilities are awesome.

~DC